Reflecting, part 1

I'm coming up on two anniversaries: 5 years ago I started this blog and about 1 year ago I started my dress business. And it often catches up with me all that has happened in that time period. It's crazy. I've moved to three different states, had a few jobs, gotten married, started a photography business, been to school twice, and now I'm expecting a child.

So much has changed since I first started blogging, with me personally and with the blog community -- I never knew it would be such a platform and large part of my life. At the same time it has often been a struggle to keep up with content, to stay relevant, and craft an inspiring space. Eventually I threw in the towel with trying to make Darling Dexter more than what it was -- because when it came down to it, it didn't need to fit a model or make money, but just be a place for me to share and connect. And so if you've been coming to this space for awhile you may have noticed the gradual change through the years -- and if you're quickly passing through, never to return, that's okay..I hope you enjoy my rambling :) 

When I first started this blog, I worked an office job as a graphic designer. That was at a time when I felt so restricted creatively and in the wrong career. This blog was my outlet. I've since branched out on my own, creating a photography business with my husband and an independent bridal clothing line that I run all by myself. It can be so overwhelming at times and financially unpredictable but so rewarding. And I owe most of my ability to having those careers to my blog and to the online community. The support and encouragement I've had through the years has been unbelievable. And as I prepare to enter the world of motherhood, I'm not sure where things will go from here. I'm feeling a bit unsure of how to juggle all that the future holds for me but I'm trying not to plan it all. But to look back on the roller coaster of the past five years, it makes me feel okay about it all. To think I could still be typing here for another five is not even something I can wrap my head around -- but as long as I keep making, creating, and being inspired, you'll probably still find me here in this space.

(and that was just a reflective post on blogging...one on a year of dressmaking is to come...just blame it on the pregnancy hormones!)

Sort of sad it's over!

So I'm done with school. I've been impatiently counting down the days for weeks and now that it's over I'm sad! It's a bittersweet feeling -- I love learning but it's time to stop racking up my financial aid debt and start applying my skills to real life.

(This is the dress I completed for my Couture final -- I had to use a single concept and a combination of detail techniques, remember this post? I went with the concept of a church using pintucks and accordian pleating)

I want to talk for a minute about the past couple of years and what it has meant to me, so bear with me please. Remember two years ago when I was living in Savannah? I was pursuing a graduate degree in photography from SCAD and I got to this point where I was questioning my purpose there. I discovered the AAS Fashion Design program at Parsons while surfing the web and was instantly intrigued. But how could I tell my Hub that I would rather be spending my time/money on this other program in another state? Could I just stop my grad degree right in the middle of it? And was that REALLY what I wanted?

Well thankfully, my Hub is ridiculously supportive of me, and together we held our breath and uprooted from Savannah to NYC. Our only job was Oh, Darling! and we had barely anything booked to shoot for the year. But I started school at Parsons in Jan 2010 in full force and somehow, as the months passed, we were able to find couples who trusted in us and gave us beautiful weddings to photograph.

And now here I am a year and half later with all of my classes completed and working on my next steps. Why do I mention all this here on my blog? I just wanted to speak to anyone out there in the middle of  a tough decision, a career change, or thinking about taking a new step in their life. I was terrified to tell people I was changing life plans, moving states, and trying something completely new. But in the end it was one of the best decisions of my life. I can't explain the knowledge I gained at Parsons, how much the hub and I have grown together as photographers and the experiences we've had living in this city. So I just want to say from my own experiences, trust in your gut and follow your dreams now, not later.

So what am I going to do with this handy-dandy fashion degree? I'm in the process of getting together a small collection that will launch this summer! I am beyond excited and hope you will like it as much as I do :) We're spending the summer back in North Carolina which also thrills me, I love that little state and hopefully we'll be able to return more permanently soon. 

Goodbye sunny evenings, see you next year.

I would say I'm generally a day person. I'm all about natural light and rooms flooded by the sun -- but there's something about the arrival of fall that makes me melt. It's nice to watch the sun quickly fall away and take night walks through town under the street lights...

Contemplation Series: Step away from the computer...

My hub gets on to me time and time again for glueing my eyeballs to the laptop screen too much -- I just can't seem to get enough. From researching & preparing blog posts, reading the mound of blogs I'm subscribed to, catching up on the latest facebook gossip, or simply browsing my bookmarks, I admit, I spend a good part of my day on the computer. When I was at my last office job I would work all day on the computer then come home and jump right back on to pick back up with the blog -- that's a lot of screen time! 

I'm completely fascinated with the internet because of the endless sources of inspiration -- from tumblr and flickr to magazines and blogs, I could sit down at my desk and 5 million clicks later, still not have seen a fraction of it. There is so much to draw from creatively and having the access to see what people are up to from all over the world is an amazing experience. It's easy to get lost in a sea of eye candy.

I also hate the internet because of the endless sources of inspiration. I often become desensitized to the world around me and seem to only focus on the screen in front of me. Blog after blog, etsy seller after etsy seller -- it's so easy to become lost.

So what's the compromise? How do I stay connected to the online community while maintaining a somewhat unplugged lifestyle? Thankfully I have hobbies I can escape to like sewing and photography -- but what about the dull moments where there is nothing to do but just be? It would probably be best to create some type of schedule where I force myself away from checking the latest updates but loose enough that I can still maintain some type of spontaneity which is such a huge part of my blogging style. 

How do you deal? Are you a blogger who can't seem to break away from researching new posts or a faithful reader who constantly checks for the latest updates? And how does that type of computer use relate to your more business/formal time at the screen? How much time do you allow yourself on the computer each day?

Images are from a recent trip to the flea market -- an attempt to get outside and away from the computer :)

Contemplation Series: Worker Bee

So I have a small internal struggle--working for other people. When I try to explain this to people they probably think I'm lazy, unmotivated, or unwilling to accept reality. Maybe its because I was in a creative major in college, but I was never the type that thought about what company I was hoping to work for post-college or the right combination of wording on my resume that would make me sound a certain way to a potential employer. Because hey, I'm a person here, not a piece of paper. I have a hard time buying into office culture--being required to wear a certain range of clothing or forced to sit at a desk all day. I am in no way demeaning everyone in the world who does work in this capacity (especially if its something they truly get enjoyment out of and means something to them) -- so if you hear judgment, you hear me wrong. But, this type of work structure/culture is simply not in my makeup.

And I'll admit, I haven't been in the working world for that long (3 years to be exact) and it's hard to wrap my head around spending the better majority of my day working for something that isn't mine. I feel stripped when I slap a logo on something that I've spent hours slaving over and - at best - my name is scrunched in the gutter. When it's daylight savings, I go into my office in the morning and don't come out until it's dark, what kind of life is that? Who decided that in our culture--working for the best part of the day would be the norm? Back in grade school it was mandatory to have nap time and recreational time--where did that go?

Okay--I should also mention that I went to college to be a graphic designer but have decided that I don't want to do that as a career. I'm not physical or mentally able to work solely on the computer screen without losing my mind. I don't exactly think 2-dimensionally all of the time and am pretty lazy when it comes to formatting text. I'm just not very good at turning other people's concepts in to reality, but who knows, maybe I don't give myself enough credit.

But I do love to work :) My hub thinks I am completely restless -- I always have my hands into something. Thankfully I am going back to school to try to combine my passion with my income. But am I completely crazy, do you understand what I'm saying? Is there anyone out there who loves the 9 to 5? or are you stuck in a rut to pay the bills? Have I just not found a "good" place to work? I'd love to hear your thoughts…

[photos are of my home office]

Contemplation Series: Do you like to dabble?

In a Personal Finance course I took in college, one of the main lessons my teacher preached was to have other sources of income besides your main career. Take your interests and turn them into small business ventures he'd say. I'm a girl of many hobbies and when settling on a undergraduate major, I struggled with what my true single calling was. I leaned toward Design school but was not too shabby in my science courses -- I enjoyed learning all about typography but loved to escape to my fiber's projects. Post college, I have friends who have their charted path: law school, med school, graphic designer, the banking world...but I've never seemed to find my single direction.

Yes, I'm in route to graduate school for photography, but that doesn't mean I'm not taking on freelance graphic design projects or honing my sewing skills. I'd love to volunteer more or help my hub with his music -- but how are there enough hours in the day if I'm strapped to one full-time job?

In normal life, one's supposed to go college, receive a degree, pursue a job or advanced degree, maneuver their life through the career they've chosen and retire at the appropriate age, in just enough time to do all the other things they were interested when they were young.  Whoa, why the wait? I get the whole financial security side of it (well sort of, look at the world today), but that path seems tiring and uninspiring to me.

I don't want to sound like a floater -- that I can't become serious about anything -- because one thing I don't lack is passion. But I want to share the crazy struggles that perplex in my mind. I understand that to become a doctor it takes extreme sacrifice and time (thank goodness that's not my path!) but I also know there is a reason why the greatest basketball player of all time retired to take up baseball.  Am I making sense? Do you feel this way? I'm not proposing answers or recommendations to how anyone should live their life. I just like to dabble, here and there, into my interests. Do you wish you could dabble more? and find a way to do more than one thing in life?

Contemplation Series: Presents

You can find my previous topic in this series here: Am I Thankful?

Despite economic turmoil, December has drifted in and holiday shopping is at its peak. Although I have made the handmade pledge this year -- which restricts my purchases to craft markets and online stores like etsy--I can't help but become intoxicated with shiny, over-sized holiday ornaments in any big box that I enter. The wreaths are hung, lights up, and the holiday value packs are out on display. But what does this holiday hoopla all really mean...

Could I be so bold as to say that this economic crisis might have a positive impact on our souls? That we really have to examine the purchases we make--put a hault to our impulses and replace the monetary value with a sentimental one. But isn't that what we should have been doing all along?

I have lovely memories of plentiful Christmas mornings--receiving everything on my list and more. But where does that leave us as adults--when we can more or less afford everything we want/need--when the fantasy of a magical man dropping off the newest & greatest thing ("thing" could be interchanged with "stuff" because that's all it really is right?) drifts away and your left exchanging gifts with everyone you were "supposed" to buy something for?

I find nothing more enjoyable then when a gift finds me--when the perfect something surprises and me and says "wrap me up, I would make a lovely gift for your brother." That's why I am now a firm believer in shopping for Christmas before Thanksgiving--before the malls can start filling your head with what they think you need to buy. That may put me on some crazy person list...but it is honestly a more gratifying and pleasant experience. I'm also slightly drawn to this concept because I hate shopping in crowds--I'm the type that likes to be the only person in the store (thank god for online shopping!).

I'll pause my rambling for moment and pose a few questions. Have you thought differently about shopping this year? Do you have an overwhelming and daunting list of people you need to buy for? Do you completely disagree with me and receive some type of spiritual high trampling over people on black friday?

Don't think I'm some type of scrooge--I've had my tree up for quite some time :) I just become slightly cynical when gift cards and corporations take away from the real meaning of thoughtfully giving to others.

Contemplation Series

There is a sense of reflection that begins to build as the days in the year slowly come to an end. Fueled by holiday spirits and nostalgic memories--we come to the time of the year where the senses are in overdrive. I've decided to create a series of posts to channel my inner thoughts surrounding these final weeks in 2008 and would like to open the discussion into your own lives.

Topic: Am I Thankful? This entire year has been filled with wedding thoughts...my two brothers married off, my closest cousin, two good friends from college, my lovely co-worker, and lastly, me. After a jammed packed year of planning for a single day--where are we now that it's over? Post-wedding, I know there were times where my head was not in the right place and times where it was--but I am sincerely thankful for my friends and family for sacrificing their time, money, and energy to help create my wedding day. 

 
My family also endured a couple of job-losses, devastating health problems and even the arrival of a new baby this year--it seems as though every down-turn was paired with a glimmer of hope. And now it's almost Thanksgiving...long-gone are the days of dressing like pilgrims and indians in grade school. Now, here we are trying to figure out which set of parents to see first for an exact 92 minutes full of mashed potatoes and turkey and spending time with extended family we don't seem to know anymore. But through the potluck style gatherings,  I feel a sense of belonging and connection--my past woven perfectly into place with who I am today and who I will be one day, surrounded by the people who were and continue to be my needles and thread.

Logistics aside, I am deeply thankful for the loved ones in my life, for having a family to go home to, for friends to catch up with. I often find myself thinking forward--on to the next stage when I need to be here, enjoying now.

How has 2008 shaped your thanksgiving holiday? Do you find it silly we designate one day out of the year to reflect on everything we are thankful for? Where do you plan to spend the holiday and who with? What are your thoughts on thankfulness?